Take Time After Sexual Abuse to Heal

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NEW AUDIO VERSION TO TAKE TIME. ENJOY THIS AND SHARE!

 

Take Time... I guess I could ask myself why do a blog now, why take time? I'm extremely busy with work and life (speaking about life after sex-slavery and abuse,  sharing portions of the film about my experience with others, being a wife, being a mentor in the Above The Noise mentoring program and getting that off of the ground, www.abovethenoise.info being an actress and a film-maker and loving on those I love) that's part of what I mean when I say work and life. But then I say to myself; How can I not? How can I not take time-to share what most don't even understand, unless you've been through it yourself. I once lived my life like a scared little mouse pretending to have the ability to deal with the trauma that I went through but when I was seeing and viewing the world from the brokenness caused by being a victim to survivor of sex-slavery, rape and abuse, how could I act normal.?  How could I always make level headed decisions when it came to love, relationships, and life in general when I was not operating with a full deck. Not to mention the abortions I went through and what all of it causes in the soul of a human being, in me.  Survivors and victims go through  various types of depression, suicidal thoughts and attempts, shame, guilt, workaholic, sexual intimacy issues, no esteem, drug addiction,  no confidence, behavioral disorders,  sexual dysfunction, promiscuity,  worthlessness and that's a partial list, which all can lead most to failure and a life no one desires. 

For some victims,  they actually become and are struggling with becoming perpetrators and rapist as %85 percent or so of criminals were abused. 

You know that feeling of fear that comes over you when you walk into a room and are afraid of  your own shadow? You're maybe pushing past some of it only to find you have other issues and sadness you don't share with others. On the heavy end I thought of suicide everyday on the other end I took  a deep breath only to beat myself up at the end of a day, meeting or event because I knew I did or said something that wasn't cool, or normal or I was just acting weird because I was so freaking uncomfortable in my own skin.

What I long to do with this blog is along with giving information on what happens mentally and emotionally to someone when they are abused; I also aim with my whole heart to share how to become FREE from it. How to live a life that you were born to live. For me personally I wasn't born gay but I was involved in that within sex-slavery and later found myself operating in it when I was and adult out of sex-slavery. The problem was,  as an adult I liked men naturally and I was only with women out of my deep fear of men because of the extreme abuse and that is hardly a reason to choose that lifestyle. When I was in that lifestyle I did not like it, I wasn't happy about it but didn't know how to trust men or anyone really and for me personally was looking for the female mother figure so to speak. Come on, that's not a reason to be with someone of the same sex, is it? Nothing we do out of fear when our spirits are completely crippled by shame, guilt and identity issues and crisis is.

First things first, let go and forgive yourself for the abuse that took place against you BECAUSE it wasn't your fault. Whether you were a minor like I was or an adult. Even if you were a minor when it started,  it often moves into adult life anyway. so regardless, LET IT GO. Forgive yourself for all that you did not and still don't understand as to why?! Neurologically the brain is incredible and there is an honest answer to why someone stops fighting or why a 17 year old girl who began being raped by her father at 6 years-old is still being raped by him at 16 or 17. There is an answer and for now just know, it wasn't your fault. That's not what happened to me but that happens often and it did with someone I mentor.

Remember, you cannot stumble over anything behind you unless you are looking back. Don't look back - Look ahead. We look back to let go but not to beat ourselves up over things we really had no control over. I love you, I do, because I've learned that without love, without caring for others life is meaningless anyway. Life is also a vapor, many elders say it goes by faster than you realize, so why waste any of it.

Look for me sharing with you once weekly starting in June... Joy and Life... Brook

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