Love is as Love does - when the actions of those around us are contrary to their words  it's time to have a come to truth awakening.

Often times victims and survivors of any form of abuse - especially sexual violations and domestic violence have a difficult time recognizing sincerity in others. Either you feel as though your presence as no value as a child watching or being around violence espcially between parents or gaurdians or you grow to misunderstand the signals that generate the true meaning of agape love, compassion and family and liken it to something violent and horrific for the human soul. This is often because of extreme dysfunctional growth as a child to an adult your concept of these emotional and spiritual actualities is not accurate.

This is often the case for many and was for me. Which is why it was easy for me to believe the lies told to me by abusers, tricks and taffickers. My concept of love was not based on the creator or person of love which is God but it was based on a false understanding of it. I was recently asked; "when did you get out of sex-slavery"? And I replied, "I spent my entire life getting out." The mind and our perception of who we are is powerful and when this kind of abuse occurs be gentle and honest with yourself about what you know and maybe don't know about your true self and these emotions. I was a vivacious child and very unafraid but after the early rape, where I lost my virginity I began to be afraid of my own shadow whenever the lights were turned out.

As I grew I became even more afraid. After the other horrible things occured including the betrayal of those I thought were there to assist me and then in hindsight I discovered that they were there to also rob my innocence and assainate my soul and my life itself  - I became very angry and distrusting with others and myself, it was an incredible pain.

But yet and still I gravitated for a long time to relationships where others did not treat me with respect at all but I made excuses for them as I was so accustomed to it and thought it natural.

On the contrary, I was actually very leary of those that were kind and nice as I assumed they had an angle or trap for me and were just waiting for the perfect moment to "stab me in the back." I think about these 3 statements below made by Dr. Leaf.

 "Parents - The relationship patterns you model are being observed by your kids" and to those violated, "Rehearsing your troubles results in you experiencing them many times because whatever you think about the most grows. You are meant to go through them only when they occur." And "Trust God instead of seeking perfection yet pour your energy into seeking God, the perfect One."
Neurosceintist, Dr Caroline Leaf

In my passion to make the film "Survivor: Living Above The Noise" www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi2010030361   I had to go back
but just as I did in therapy  - I no longer "rehearse" going back to asses and remember a past even does not me we have to reherase it in real time and pain - it is simply a look back at the facutal circumstances that have made us and can make us the most powerful and excetional person we are today and/or strive to become.

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