It is incredible how much anger I had and that I could never admit. Sometimes I would lay in my bed in an absolute pickle as to think, why me? Why first of all did I lose my virginity to rape?
And if there was a God at all, why oh why does He allow these things to happen? I’m not even dealing with the horrible stuff that came after that. So many questions, so much anger and most of it not answered or fully deleted from my heart until much later.
Until I fully chose to let go and made a committed decision to heal in ways that I did not even know at the time were there - not until then did I even begin to heal and that still came - later.
Forgiveness; it seemed like a word that other people threw around so effortlessly, other people that didn’t have their young wombs pillaged by thieves or their minds robbed of sanity and their emotions c…