Love Is as Love Does June 22-28
Love is as Love does - when the actions of those around us are contrary to their words it's time to have a come to truth awakening.
Often times victims and survivors of any form of abuse - especially sexual violations and domestic violence have a difficult time recognizing sincerity in others. Either you feel as though your presence as no value as a child watching or being around violence especially between parents or guardian's or you grow to misunderstand the signals that generate the true meaning of agape love, compassion and family and liken it to something violent and horrific for the human soul. This is often because of extreme dysfunctional patterns in our minds and hearts as we grow, so our concept of these emotional and spiritual actualities is not accurate.
This is often the case for many and was for me. Which is why it was easy for me to believe the lies told to me by abusers, tricks and traffickers. My concept of love was not based on the creator or person of love which is God but it was based on a false understanding of it. I was recently asked; "when did you get out of sex-slavery"? And I replied, "I spent my entire life getting out." The mind and our perception of who we are is powerful and when this kind of abuse occurs, we must be gentle and honest with ourselve's about what we know and maybe don't know about our true self and these emotions. I was a vivacious child and very unafraid but after the early rape, where I lost my virginity I began to be afraid of my own shadow whenever the lights were turned out.
As I grew I became even more afraid. After the other horrible things occurred including the betrayal of those I thought were there to assist me and then in hindsight I discovered that they were there to also rob my innocence and assassinate my soul and my life itself - I became very angry and distrusting with others and myself, it was an incredible pain.
But yet and still I gravitated for a long time to relationships where others did not treat me with respect at all but I made excuses for them as I was so accustomed to it and thought it natural.
On the contrary, I was actually very leery of those that were kind and nice as I assumed they had an angle or trap for me and were just waiting for the perfect moment to "stab me in the back." I think about these 3 statements below made by Dr. Leaf.
"Parents - The relationship patterns you model are being observed by your kids" and to those violated, "Rehearsing your troubles results in you experiencing them many times because whatever you think about the most grows. You are meant to go through them only when they occur." And "Trust God instead of seeking perfection yet pour your energy into seeking God, the perfect One."
Neuroscientist, Dr Caroline Leaf
In my passion to make the film "Survivor: Living Above The Noise" www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi2010030361 I had to go back
but just as I did in therapy - I no longer "rehearse" when going back to asses and remember a past event. Because it does not mean we have to rehearse it in real time and pain. It is simply a look back at the factual circumstances that have made us and can make us the most powerful and exceptional person we are today and/or strive to become.
To this I use an old cliche, slightly altered The world is your oyster and many your pearls - just understand and know the difference of when and to whom you give them away. Be good to yoursevles and do something nice for you today.
Really, just embrace all that is possible!
Often times victims and survivors of any form of abuse - especially sexual violations and domestic violence have a difficult time recognizing sincerity in others. Either you feel as though your presence as no value as a child watching or being around violence especially between parents or guardian's or you grow to misunderstand the signals that generate the true meaning of agape love, compassion and family and liken it to something violent and horrific for the human soul. This is often because of extreme dysfunctional patterns in our minds and hearts as we grow, so our concept of these emotional and spiritual actualities is not accurate.
This is often the case for many and was for me. Which is why it was easy for me to believe the lies told to me by abusers, tricks and traffickers. My concept of love was not based on the creator or person of love which is God but it was based on a false understanding of it. I was recently asked; "when did you get out of sex-slavery"? And I replied, "I spent my entire life getting out." The mind and our perception of who we are is powerful and when this kind of abuse occurs, we must be gentle and honest with ourselve's about what we know and maybe don't know about our true self and these emotions. I was a vivacious child and very unafraid but after the early rape, where I lost my virginity I began to be afraid of my own shadow whenever the lights were turned out.
As I grew I became even more afraid. After the other horrible things occurred including the betrayal of those I thought were there to assist me and then in hindsight I discovered that they were there to also rob my innocence and assassinate my soul and my life itself - I became very angry and distrusting with others and myself, it was an incredible pain.
But yet and still I gravitated for a long time to relationships where others did not treat me with respect at all but I made excuses for them as I was so accustomed to it and thought it natural.
On the contrary, I was actually very leery of those that were kind and nice as I assumed they had an angle or trap for me and were just waiting for the perfect moment to "stab me in the back." I think about these 3 statements below made by Dr. Leaf.
"Parents - The relationship patterns you model are being observed by your kids" and to those violated, "Rehearsing your troubles results in you experiencing them many times because whatever you think about the most grows. You are meant to go through them only when they occur." And "Trust God instead of seeking perfection yet pour your energy into seeking God, the perfect One."
Neuroscientist, Dr Caroline Leaf
In my passion to make the film "Survivor: Living Above The Noise" www.imdb.com/video/wab/vi2010030361 I had to go back
but just as I did in therapy - I no longer "rehearse" when going back to asses and remember a past event. Because it does not mean we have to rehearse it in real time and pain. It is simply a look back at the factual circumstances that have made us and can make us the most powerful and exceptional person we are today and/or strive to become.
To this I use an old cliche, slightly altered The world is your oyster and many your pearls - just understand and know the difference of when and to whom you give them away. Be good to yoursevles and do something nice for you today.
Really, just embrace all that is possible!
Yes!!!
ReplyDeleteYour honesty and remarkable courage is inspiring to us all. I would just suggest to all who read this to get the word out to all those who have gone through this and that don't think they can talk to anybody. This is a safe place to heal and grow and to discuss. Brook is a fantastic lady with a whole lot of insight, compassion and strength to draw from. WELCOME TO ALL!
DeleteInspirational...
ReplyDeleteLove It! I always knew and versed the saying The World is your Oyster. Though, never knew the rest 'and many your pearls'. From this reading BB I understand the płot that I for so long stayed in. Mentally, I stayed there, because there was where time stood still. There is something way down deep in me that stems from there that wont or should I say allow me to detach myself from seeking outside approval. My SOUL yearns for this and this attitude came from the lack of parenting skills that my parents failed in, to guard my safety and innocence. I am learning, have learnt to relinguish that I am not to blame. It has its moments as I have chosen to embrace my father more then my mother, when they are equally to blame. Though I am working on self from a whole new perspective that has lead to the forgiveness of both first and formost....making the journey more pleasant. x
ReplyDeleteYes!!! Thank you for sharing that - you are exactly right - TIME does STAND still in moments of trauma - in the mind, heart, DNA and cellualar memory. I am so glad that you are RELEASING your parents mom and dad and yourself from any blame or guilt and shame... Love you...
DeleteYour honesty and remarkable courage is inspiring to us all. I would just suggest to all who read this to get the word out to all those who have gone through this and that don't think they can talk to anybody. This is a safe place to heal and grow and to discuss. Brook is a fantastic lady with a whole lot of insight, compassion and strength to draw from. WELCOME TO ALL!
ReplyDelete